Divorce and happiness
Many think of divorce as the end of the world. Failure… failure to make a marriage work. However divorce is no longer looked upon with the same way the way it was.
Eileen
I had to make a decision. I was in my late twenties and with a husband who no longer loved me. He told me he doesn’t mind me staying in the same room as to do otherwise would raise problems with my in-laws. However I had to give him total freedom with his new girl friend. He was no longer interested in sex with me. He was too tired anyway.
Sometimes he came home with the smell of sex still fresh on his body. His girlfriend was beautiful but then so was I. I am also a former beauty queen. The difference was that she was new and I had been married to him for two years. We had no children. He used that against me and blamed me for being barren. I went to see a specialist at Lam Wah Ee Hospital. He found nothing wrong with me. He asked my husband to go for a check-up too.
He laughed it off. My life was getting more and more unbearable. I was the ‘yesterday’s mistake’. After the initial burst of sympathy, even the in-laws turned against me for not providing them with grandchildren. How could I have children when he refused to have sex with me. He was a nobody when I married him. I helped him build up his business and now when it was flourishing, he had no more use for me.
I could either continue or leave him. I had given him all my savings for his business. My family is poor. I had to look for a job, a place to stay and means to sustain myself. I then decided on a trial separation. One night he came to my rented room and we had a row. He locked the door and beat me up badly with blows to the face and stomach. He kicked me repeatedly when I had fallen on the floor. I used a comforter to protect myself from his blows. He continued kicking me.
I left for New Zealand to live with my sister. Away from his family and all its taboos, I realized I was too young to throw my life away and be a nobody in his home. I still loved him and pined for him.
I met a man who would later grow to love me. I also grew to love him after a few years. He also showed me how faith can make a difference in one’s life. He taught me not to blame myself and how to stop hating myself. In the meantime, my husband had initiated divorce proceedings barely three weeks after I left. In my state of turmoil, I turned more and more to this New Zealander, this ang moh who was a rock.
Now I am happily married with two ang moh looking boys and a cute Chinese looking girl. When I look back, I am glad I took a bold step. If I had stayed behind in Malaysia, perhaps people would look upon me as the other woman. The divorced woman… some would even look at me as a threat to their marriage or a loose woman.
My eldest is now eight. As women sometimes we have to make bold decisions too when our husband loves us no more. There is always a new beginning.
Guest writer : Eileen
Posted in on January 8th, 2008 by nini | | 2 Comments
Great online business opportunity with phone cards
Today I wish to share with the readers about an affordable ebusiness/ecommerce opportunity. Its returns are good. Basically you will deal in a high commission phone cards business. Explore the program. It is unique in the sense that you will have a pre-built web site with your own domain name. You do your own marketing and run the business your own way. You will be the boss.
There will be nobody looking over your shoulder and it is a venture that can work if you put your heart and efforts into it. You will be paid commissions on a monthly basis.
This is an excellent opportunity for those looking for a niche in with their own home-based business. It is best described as a low investment, high profit opportunity. Check out the website for their business model. It may be just what you are looking for.
Posted in on January 3rd, 2008 by nini | | 0 Comments
Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek- the controversy
Today I want to talk about the controversy involving the former Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek. In my opinion the person he has wronged most is his family. If they are solidly behind him, it is his private affair. But he has taken the stand to resign. This is a bold decision and he has placed his party’s interests and the nation’s interests above self. This is admirable. He has accomplished much in his life.
As for the wife, she has stood solidly behind him. Let us face it. What do we expect the wife to do? Do a Britney and apply for divorce proceedings? They have shared a lifetime together. They have children. He has not hurt any body but many have been quick to judge him.
When I think of it, he is guilty of an indiscretion. But it is his private affair. Who are we to judge him? The only thing that has stood out about this case is that there is evidence through the CCTV of the sex act. It was all planned to bring shame to him at all costs.
He has broken no law. It is unfortunate there are those who have taken elaborate steps to bring him down. This also signals infighting within the MCA and heralds that not everything is smooth sailing within the second most powerful party in the ruling coalition.
In my humble opinion, those have planned his downfall have more questions to answer than him.
Posted in on January 3rd, 2008 by nini | | 0 Comments
Hunting and hiking boots at metboots.com
I love being healthy and understand the value of exercise. I also love to be out in the outdoors enjoying the fresh air. In other words, hiking is my favorite activity whenever I have the opportunity. I even take the opportunity to go hiking when I am traveling.
I alway bring my hiking books every where I go. Good hiking boots are necessary to protect our feet against the elements, water, mud, rocks, and other obstacles. In other words it is an absolute necessity and not a luxury.
I never scrimp when it comes to sporting accessories especially when it comes to hiking boots. It is the cheapest form of insurance against injuries and painful untoward happenings. I always look up Hiking Boots at metboots.com.
I once purchased a pair of quality hunting boots and they are still good today.
They provide good customer service and if you purchase over $100, shipping is free.
Posted in on January 2nd, 2008 by nini | | 0 Comments
The Teachings of Venerable Master Chin Kung
Reflect on these philosophies as we stand on the threshold of a brand new year
A path to true happiness
True sincerity
towards others
Purity of mind
within
Equality
in everything we see
Proper Understanding
of ourselves and our environment
Compassion
helping others in a wise and unconditional way
See Through
to the truth of impermanence
Let go
of all wandering thoughts and attachments
Freedom
of mind and spirit
Accord With Conditions
go along with the environment
Be Mindful of Amitabha Buddha
wishing to reach the Pure Land and follow in His Teachings
Posted in on December 31st, 2007 by nini | | 0 Comments
Ivy Ridge Academy
We all want the best for our children. Consider Ivy Ridge Academy in New York as another option. They are after all our biggest investment in life and they continue on after we have left. It is indeed our responsibility to ensure they make the best out of their lives.
Many children have passed its halls and made something of themselves. A common thread runs through almost all the students’ testimonies of Ivy Ridge Academy. They gained friendship, acceptance and achieved a measure of success, sense of security , stability and confidence as they settled down in Ivy Ridge Academy. Some have even become closer to their own families and appreciated their families more after joining Ivy Ridge Academy.
A typical testimony:
“I have gained so much wisdom and I’d get frustrated that other people could not see it. I know that if I truly want something for my life, I will do whatever it takes to get what I want for a successful future. I can not let what I’ve done get in my way because I am capable of many things.” With that kind of thought, many students make the most of Ivy Ridge Academy and make something of themselves sometimes far beyond their parents expectations.
Posted in on December 26th, 2007 by nini | | 1 Comments
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